My chart and pessimism/depression?

I would like to help you, but the information you posted is so huge that it's hard to pick out pieces that might help. If you would contact me, I can do a better job with more time to look at all this info. ****I forgot to mention www.cafeastrology.com start from the beginning with your time, place of birth and date and this site will give you interpretations of the aspects and placements so you get a start with interpretation. Good luck!